Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Tree Rat Hunting Safety

Welcome puppers and kittehs 

Gather around, and I will teach you the fine art of how to

Safely Hunt Tree Rats 


You need the proper equipment.

If you encounter the

Clemons Sciurus
(Roger Clemons of Squirrels)

You will need to protect your melon 

I recommend this most FABulous Hard Hat 

Butts you might also encounter

Bazooka Sciurus
(Militant Squirrels with issues)

With this guy, you might also need one of these....

My personally designed Acorn Shield 

Now, there are those pesky tree rats that will try and distract you

Don't Fall for It!!!!! 

Here's some examples....

yeah, don't be fooled by cuteness! 

Or Cirque du Soleil  stunts!

Or Scary Halloweenie masks!

Recently, I have encountered these dudes/dudettes....

They will do anythings to get your attention away from your

Tree Rat Huntin' ..... 

Stay vigilant!!!

Keep your eye on the furry tail!!! 

One last thingie.... 

Don't let these two keep you from your duties


I didn't need to see that!!!

Put those away mister!!!

(Sorry puppers and kittehs,

these tree rats have no shame!)

And, for Dogs Sake, don't let this one's

Interpretive Dance numbers 

keep you from doin' your job!!!!

So, keep stealthy 

keep Limber 

And, tell those tree rats that you're gonna ...

♪♫ Shake em' like a Polaroid Picture! ♪♫

Nows, once you have

SAFELY Rid Your Yardie of those


It's time to

Put your paws up


(or 87  ☺)



  1. hahahaha, Ruby! I immediately looked at me as I saw "the two" (yes, I'm still in advantage lol). and I will wear a helmet to protect my melon from the nuts :o)

  2. ♫♫♫♫ SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL those tree rats.. ♫♫♫♫ And the next time I go after one, I hope I remember to protect my melon... BOL


  3. Good tips Ruby. We're on high alert now after our great catch the other night. We think we have them worried and they may make mistakes. If they do, we're ready.
    Fudge and the Portie Pack

  4. Hey Ruby!
    Wow, this had me chuckling from top to bottom! BWAR HAR HAR Excellent post for today. So entertaining and helpful too. I never thought to protect my melon before. I gotta ask Dad for a hardhat right away. OMD this was great! Thanks so much for hosting this, my furiend.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Police Commish

  5. OMD, that was the most informative talk on tree rat huntin', your examples have the mom ROFL, may have to send over Dogtor Lassie to recusitate. we keep trying to pick her up but she keeps falling down laughing ... maybe she started on those 87 margaritas already ... thanks for that Ruby, you are best gurrlfriend

  6. That was a fake and was easy to spot. Clemens is right-handed and that fake is a southpaw. No danger, go get him.

    1. Good one Ruby, can see your always on duty. BUT hope none of those tree creeping little varmints are called Sid... Luv's Cat Flap Cavalier, Sid is all mine.... X

  7. OMDs Ruby mom was trying to read all the info to me but she starting leaking from the eyes, snorting like a pig and THEN she fell and could not get up...I was about to perform CPR....then she told me she was okey dokey fine all the commotion was caused by laughter no an emergency. You have literally cracked us up today. Bless your heart the research alone must have taken eons then you had photos. We have the cute kind here the do somersaults, hang upside down from things and the dummies climb up our bird feeder poles right into the barrel shaped squirrel baffle...then they bang their heads around int he baffle back down then starting acting like drunken sailors on shore leave. Yep they think they are cute...Bravo bravo standing ovation from your BFFF
    Madi and her Mom

  8. Wow Miss Ruby - you are the squirrel expert extraordinaire !!!!!!!!! You would think at MY park we would see them all time but we rarely do - Mom says there isn't many of around here as the rednecks hunt and eat them - erk !

  9. OMD Ruby, you are a PRO!!! We sure do miss bttling the squirrel'd think with all the redwoods around here we would have a squirrel or two!!

    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

  10. I think I have seen some of those squirrels around here!

  11. BOL Ruby!!! That was a very informative yet HILARIOUS post! OMD...did you see the squirrels nuts?!? No, not THAT photo...most times tree rats are protecting their stash of nuts and stuffs. You dirty-minded girl....BOL

  12. Oh boy get my margarita glass cold cause Ruby I found the tree rat NEST on my peep's pergola! Oh you shoulda been there Ruby when my peep got the broom and sent that squirrel running. Then he got rid of that nasty mess of nest. Where did you get the hard hat, that's what I needed during the nest clearing! Your pal, Toby

  13. Like Downunder Daisy once said we got to crack those squirrels nuts. And Holy Crap that one tree rat has some nuts to crack!
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  14. OMD Ruby, thank you so much for this super informative post! Tree rats are serious business (so I have NO IDEA why my Momma is taking it so unseriously and laughing the way she is!) and this post is JUST what Blogville needed to point it all out proper!

  15. If this is what we do to capture the rats, we' re in
    Lily & Edward

  16. Thank you for the very informational tutorial! I think the banjo playing tree rat may be my favorite!

  17. Really good info you provided Ruby. I will be right over to have some drinks with you.

    Aroo to you,

  18. Miss RUBY.... Hey TEACHER .... TEACHER .... MISS RUBY... it's ME Ernie... over here in the FURST ROW.... THIS is a GRAND Class TEACHER. I loved it. Esp the pawt about SHAKIN those TREE RATs until the're NUTS WHAT? What Frankie... OH he says I can't say that last pawt in Class or I'll have to sit in the corner like a DUNCE.
    BUTT... that's OK Teacher beclaws I could still take my Margarita with me... RIGHT?
    OH Miss RUBY you did a MAGNIFICENT job... We have 87 PAGES of NOTES..
    THANK YOU MISS RUBY !! From your STUDent... Ernest vonSchnitzel.

  19. GREAT Post Ruby! We do get an occasion tree rat in our tree, we better get some of those hard hats
    And you know it is good to come late to class then you get to read everybuddy's comments which are almost as funny as your post
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Greta

  20. Awesome post!!! I am a novice and now feel fully prepared for tree rat season!!

  21. Down with Tree Rats and bottoms up on margaritas! Woo Hoo! Awesome post on the various gangs of these dangerous varmints!

  22. That's scary. We're glad we don't have squirrelies here.

  23. :-) they are CUTE!!! Ah to margarita. Golden Woofs

  24. Great tips, Ruby! You look so perfect in your hard hat!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

  25. If my peeps would only let me off leash more, I could get rid of the tree rat problem. Hailey

  26. Crikey Ruby ..... I'm coming to join you once I recover. I sure need a Margarita (or 87) after that. I fell off the bed laughing. think I've done myself an injury!!!

  27. Oh Ruby, we got this information just in time. We don't have many around here cuz we don't have many trees cuz the houses aren't real old. BUTT dad saw a tree rat just yesterday in our yard!! He ran off but we know he will be back!!

    Your pals,

    Murphy & Stanley
    Mayorz For All Paws

  28. ROTFLOL!!! You are too silly, Ruby. Keep up the good work.

  29. Ruby, we have studied your post over and over and we think we are ready to take on the rats!!! Now to get the Momster to let us out in that wild jungle!!!

    Woos - Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

  30. BOL, I always shake dose tree rats real good.

  31. Ruby, this was way tooo funny!
    Some great tips for sure,,,!
    Lots of good information here-- that lots of us can use!

  32. Ruby Duby Du!!! I bow to you, that was the most pawsome informational post like EVER in history!! Oh Ruby, you have some scary and crazy squirrels around you. I can see why you have to be on your paws all the time. You deserve a "Rita" after a day of protecting your family from the evil that is all around you. I shudder to think of what is hiding in my back woods. I will keep my eyes open and check back with you if I need help. Now how about those "rita's" ? I like mine with strawberry please. I have also built up a tolerance so no worries on my getting sick. Thank you for spreading the word and teaching us all this impawtant stuff.

    Loveys Sasha

  33. Holy cr@p!! We've NEVER been more relieved NOT to have tree rats where we live than after reading this post! They are VICIOUS...and ARMED...and TRICKSY!!

    WOW, you are one tough chick Ruby!

    Wally & Sammy

  34. WOW, so much to learn, we gotta copy this off and post it in our pupper houses, so we can review each day, didn't know they were such deceptive boogers.

    Thank for Joining in for Safety week, all this stuffs is so important, just think of the poor puppers that just don't have this materials to help!

    Top Cop Bites & Da Sus
    Pees: sorry we are late, but a double post and all those rides have put us behind!

  35. Woohoo! Great post Ruby! We are tree rat haters too so your post just fired us all up more!
    Marty and the Gang

  36. My boys typically ignore those pesky tree rats. I had them read this post and take notes though, just so they know what to watch for if they ever decide to chase them in the future. Thanks for the excellent information, the chi's learned a lot.

  37. This is SUCH good advice! Now tell me, what advice do you have if, after catching your tree rat and starting your Polaroid shake, your human starts screaming and shrieking and shouting "No, Casey, leave it! Leave it!!!"

  38. BOL! Oh, Ruby, you have the FiveSibes and I laughing and rolling here! Our Bandit she is a good tree rat hunter so I told her all about your safety tips and to beware of the "two things" and the dancin' distractions! Our Harley has been known to have a tree rat severed tail (yep, her and two others had a little fun with a tree rat here and she ran off with the tail). So while staring right at us, with the fuzzy tail just a danglin' from her mouth...while we were sreaming "drop it! Drop it!" She looked right at us and GULP, swallowed that darn tree rat's tail whole. Yuck!!! Needless to say, we did NOT kiss that Husky for a long time. And, she did get some mouthwash swished around by my daughter! Then there was the time the Huskies played tug-o-war with one and the poor thing was screaming (we did not even know they could do that!) so my daughter and hubby scooped it up and and brought it over to the vet's. Our hunters were not happy about that. So your advice is getting pinned right up where they sleep! Thanks for all the tips! (I may have nightmares at that "two things" shot though....)!!!

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